Today as I look at this world,
I see strain and I see struggle.
I see a nation divided.
I see our leaders arguing.
The media tells us the story,
But that’s just what it is.
They tell us what we need to hear,
What we need to see,
What will convince us to believe.
They twist a tangle web of lies,
And they dress it up pretty.
As I watch our nation crumble,
I begin to wonder what freedom is.
Im told I’m free, and then told im wrong.
I am told I am intolerant and controlling.
I fall in the half of the world that believes one side,
While the other tells me that I’m taking their rights.
I don’t dive into politics,
I don’t publicize my opinion.
But I watch as it becomes a fight,
And knowing I have to pick a side.
So I pick the side of Christ!
I pick the side that wins!
I won’t listen to the devils lies!
I won’t be discourged by his attacks!
Instead I’m gonna choose life!
Im going to keep my trust in Him!
The devil wont break me!
My life does not belong to any on earth,
My life belongs to The One who made me!
Even though I live in a country where I’m free,
I will trust in the one who frees my soul!
It is in him I see true freedom!
It is through Him that justice will come!
It is through Him that I have liberty!
And without Him, there would be no life.
So I will stand my ground,
And I will live in FAITH!
For my soul is free from destruction!
My soul is free from this world!
It is through Him,
That I experience true FREEDOM!

Thank you to those who have stuck around in my absence. I have been going through some stuff and havent had the chance to sit down and write. I hope you all enjoy my poem on freedom. In a world where it feel like our freedom is being stripped from us, I want to say there is light in the tunnel. So if you have something you want to get off your chest, I encourage you to please contact me using the form on the contact page. I’d love to chat with you, answer questions you may have, or even just be there to listen. I’m here for you, even when you may feel alone. It is with love for everyone in this dark world, that I hope to be a light to give you hope! And always, stay dark, stay spooky, stay in school, and I’ll catch you next time, in the shadows.

Is it stress or depression?
I don’t know but it makes me feel heavy.
A burden on my chest that I just cant carry.
I need to talk, but i dont know why.
I need to get it off, but what is it?
I’m hurting and i dont know why.
Emotions are stirring and for what I cant say.
I’m suffocating in something and I dont know what.
I just want it to loosen.
I just want to breath.
I just want to be free of this mysterious chain.
It ties me down and I just can’t see.
It’s dementing and sickening.
I want to be happy.
I want answers to this condition,
Freedom from this trap.
I want to just scream but I don’t have the words.
I need relief, but I can’t relieve a mystery.
Are the walls closing or is my mind shaking?
I feel powerless to the condition that imprisoned me.
I feel empty like something is missing.
There something wrong there has to be.
It can’t just be in my head, it’s pressing from outside.
But when I look up, nothing has changed.
I’m still in my room, I’m still breathing.
So what is this pain that is torchering me.
Why can’t I spell the ailment that is hindering me.
It’s all a complete mystery,
A trap that I can’t see.

It’s dark and quiet.
It’s work while the world is asleep.
I am one of many,
Working through the night.
Some work in cars with flashing lights,
Others work in hospitals with blaring alarms.
Some work in trucks with large loads.
Some work in places like me,
Big buildings with lots of shelves.
All these jobs keep the economy going.
All these jobs keep you safe, fed, and healthy.
It doesn’t matter the uniform,
For they all serve a purpose.
Scrubs, bulletproof vests,
Fire retardent jackets, or jeans and a t-shirt.
All are important, all are essential.
There are many of us who work,
Sometimes very long nights.
A lot of us sleep,
While you enjoy the day.
I don’t say this in search of credit,
But as a thanks of my own.
Now knowing what it feels like,
I appreciate it more.
So thank you to all of you,
Who like me, work the night shift!

What you just read comes from my experience working night shifts in a warehouse. I really do appreciate the work that people like me put in after hours to keep the world running. I also want to say a quick thanks to those who have supported me from the beginning, both on this site and IRL.
As I always say,  Stay Dark, Stay Spooky, Stay in School, and I’ll catch you next time in the shadows!

In this time of distress,
Viral instability and unrest.
This goes out to all,
In positions without thanks.
Medical staff, and grocery stores,
Truck drivers and restaurants.
To those who cant go home,
Cause it puts their family at risk.
First responders and military,
For your brave service.
To those in masks,
And those in gloves.
To all working at home
Or risking at the office.
Everyone who works,
In this time of trial.
This year has been rough,
And its only half through.
The virus the riots,
The protests and destruction.
Stay at home orders,
And mask up proclamations.
And through it all,
I thank you.
To all essential workers,
For risking your lives.
These tines have been stressful,
And you keep us alive.
So to that I cant tell you,
How grateful I am.
That workers like you,
Still work in through the storm.
I know your struggle,
And I know the strain.
I too am like you,
Essential all the same.
Thank you to you all,
For your service,
And your sacrifice.
Let us get through this year,
And make 2021 even better.

And confirmed what I knew.
Love has broken me,
Love has destroyed me.
Love made me not want to fully experience it.
The truth is,
I don’t know anymore.
I’m damaged,
But beyond repair?
That might be the pain talking,
And the very thing that turned me off.
But now there’s a girl.
We both swore off dating,
At least till after college is over.
We share the same beliefs,
And total dorks.
Could she be the one?
I really don’t know.
For some reason I’m still in doubt.
Like I’ve been so broken,
Such that not even perfection can repair.
I feel destroyed.
I feel alone,
But I know I’m not.
The hard truth,
This is my reality.
I wake up excited for the day,
I go to bed exhausted.
Part of me doesn’t know who I am,
Or if ill ever feel secure.
At least I have my friends…..
Right????
I’m so unsure,
I just need someone to say it.
I don’t know my future,
But I don’t think anyone does.
All I can do is make the best of what I have.

Its been a while.
I haven’t sat down to write in too long.
It’s time I make a habit with a huge update.
I don’t remember when it started, but I know the journey.
So a story with no beginning, is kind of incomplete.
Well buckle up, cause you’ll learn all about it.
Initially I stopped writing,
But not cause I wanted to.
I needed a way to break free,
Of a cage that confined me.
A cage built in loneliness.
A cage built in deceit.
But see, writing was my escape,
At least, until it wasn’t.
So what happened that changed it?
Well for that story, just look at my history.
Every work I’ve published,
And most of my private.
Every word i had typed,
Every song that I sang.
It’s filled with pain,
It’s filled with hurt.
It’s filled with the blood of deceit,
From the blades of betrayal.
It’s filled with broken hearts,
It’s filled with my shattered soul.
From my first to my last,
Every love, every hope.
It’s filled with the trap,
Of staying alone.
I hoped someone would ask,
Didn’t know I had to show.
I wore mask and hopped someone would know,
That the real me was hidden inside.
I published work after work,
Leaving clues to me.
But not once, did I remove the mask.
I locked myself in a cage,
But this cage was different.
I started lying to myself,
Becoming those that hurt me.
I told myself that someone would know,
Someone would see.
I thought that maybe just had to wait,
And maybe someone would see the clues.
And as I waited, the me I hid,
Slowly died.
The me that wrote poems,
And left clues for my escape.
The me I wanted to free,
But thought someone would save.
That me became weak,
To point he stopped writing.
That me that was trying to be free,
Forever trapped in this cage.
I continued to hope,
And continued to hide.
The mask I fashioned,
Hiding more each day.
I didn’t know that I had to free myself.
I had to be my own hero.
I has to remove the mask,
and reveal what is inside.
My long silence,
Was my disappearance.
I left those I loved,
Watching them be hurt by my leave.
I couldn’t feel myself,
I couldn’t escape my cage.
And when I learned the truth,
I was sure it was too late.
The world had moved on,
And I was still in limbo.
A cage with no door,
No key. No escape.
I built it around me,
In my own self deceit.
My dying soul shattered,
My mask, made permanent.
I left a few friends,
Left those I loved.
I found a new life,
In the age of college search.
A life without love,
A life built alone.
I focused on me,
And on my desires.
And little did I know,
I was getting stronger.
Not me on the out side,
But the me I was hiding.
My cage started to change,
Started to vanish.
My mask started melting,
And falling off of me.
I don’t know when it started,
But I know it hasn’t ended.
I’m back in force,
No mask hiding me away.
For once in a long time,
I can legitimately say I’m happy.
I can’t remember the last time I felt joy,
The last time I could smile.
I’m finally free,
From my cage with no key.
I’m back to write,
But no pain to write away.
I’m back in the saddle,
Leading my own life.
Still not ready to love,
Given my rough past.
But some day I might,
And I won’t need a mask.
I can finally be me,
No longer hurting and hiding.
I can finally forgive,
And I can finally forget.
I can face the future,
And not see the past.
I can finally see,
I can finally walk.
On a road to the future,
Let’s see what it holds.
I hope you will join me,
And celebrate my freedom.
Maybe someday you’ll see your own,
If you haven’t already.
I hope to see everyone,
Loosen their baggage.
Rediscover themselves,
And unlock their cage.
We all have struggles,
We all have choices.
It’s time to decide,
And it’s never too late.
Time to rid your past from your future,
And leave it behind.
Time to walk forward,
And find your trail to the future.
It is so freeing,
To write without pain.
To write just for leisure,
And not in requirement.
Great to see the world,
Without a dark mask.
Amazing to smile,
And not hide a frown.
So as I leave off,
I just have question,
What is your cage,
And who is the mask controlling it?

Where did it all go?
The friends I have all missing,
The fire in my heart just dying.
What happened to life?
I work to many hours,
I can’t catch a break.
I miss being me,
And I don’t know who I am.
The stress, the struggle,
The anxiety, the pain.
Is this who I’ve become?
My friends don’t even notice,
Is this the new normal?
Am I defined by the hours I work?
Am I represented by my scars?
What happened to the joy?
What happened to the peace?
I used to be happy, and hard to depress.
Now I’m so stressed, that I lost it all.
Is this really my life?
Is something just missing?
What do I do?
What can I do?
I guess I’ll move on,
And just hope for the best.